The source of my sentimental view of marriage lies within my own home. My parents, married for 27 years, showed love for the family and love for each other every single day. My dad would always take us out on trips during the holidays, and because he worked outside our state and comes home every weekend, we(my siblings) would always expect sometime nice from him(like a gift), and he never fails to bring us one.
My mother and father had a mutual understanding and respect for each other. I grew up thinking this is how it was with every family. Perhaps worldwide we grow up with the same utopian perspective: every story we hear as children and throughout our formative years ends with, “…….and they lived happily ever after.” Most Disney films we see growing up maintain this same ending. Most major motion pictures we see end with the two main characters finding and falling in love with each other. We rarely see what happens the day after the dreamy couple gets married: there must be a mutual understanding and coordinated plan. From the beginning, my mom and dad agreed that she would be the one to take care of the home and the children, but that she would also keep her job and work. Because my parents constantly and effectively communicated with each other, their marriage lasted. According to our class statistics, almost 50% of married couples aren’t as fortunate and end in divorce.
During class discussion, one common factor cited among the reasons for divorce is the evolving status of women in society. Demonstrative of this are the class discussed points such as, “The unwillingness of some men to accept the changing status of women,” and “more women have become economically self sufficient,” and, “the rate of divorce involving women age 45-54 has increased, especially in Korea”
It is an antiquated notion that upon marriage, a woman’s only duties are to clean the home and clothe and feed the family. Even if two people were to enter a marriage with this archaic mindset, things soon would change because the world is in a different place. One hundred years ago, it would take all day for a wife to prepare the family meal: she has to find coal or firewood for the oven, she has to make every recipe from scratch, and the ingredients used in said recipe also made from scratch. She has to hand-wash all the laundry, she is responsible for the children getting to and from school on time, she must make sure her husband stays well fed, healthy, and happy, so that he can continue to work, as well as provide for the family, and the family can maintain the home they have. With the advances made in modern technology, a home maker now has running water, a gas or electric stove, washing machine, maybe even a washing service or house keeper, the home maker has parent carpools, readily prepared meals: there’s no need for her to surrender all her time and energy to the home. Time may be made available for personal development: once considered selfish for a housewife, now very helpful, so to speak.
Even outside of these logistical issues, the sphere of contemporary society does not coordinate with the idea that a woman should, as outlined in her wedding vows; love, honour and obey her husband. She has education and her own opinion, and though in the past it was considered disrespectful for her to voice it, there is little reason for her not to now. She need not fear the consequence of an irate husband who may threaten to leave her. Today’s woman is financially secure, or has the skills to enter the workforce and support herself if need be, therefore the need to have a husband as provider is also antiquated.
In the class, we learnt that in the last several years, the opportunities made available for women have increased dramatically.
In these contemporary times, people, women in particular, do not feel the obligation to stay in, as labelled in our class, an “empty shell” marriage. Our Social Problems class noted that the divorce rate in 1978 was a mere 0.5%. Compare this with the divorce to marriage ratio of 47.4% in 2002. These numbers are the proof that people no longer feel they have to stay married.
Even Korea is not immune: in this, a homogenous society where custom and traditions are highly revered; Korea now has one of the world’s highest divorce rates. According to our class notes, the rate of divorce in Korea has jumped 10 times in the last 30 years. With the changing status of women, the number does not seem likely to decrease soon.
